Isaiah 43:18-19

It's amazing how God reveals himself to us in such unexpected ways. I was reading over some of my pastor's old sermons this morning. I started to look over one from when I visited the church with some friends in May. At that time the church was in the middle of their 40 Days of Community series and I was entering into my last week of my senior year of college. At that point I thought I had things pretty figured out. I had accepted the job here and I was anxiously waiting for it to begin, I had a roommate and a place to live, I was in a pretty serious relationship that we both thought would lead to marriage and my family seemed to finally be settling down after over two years of heartache.
Now I look back on that Sunday and think how wrong my perspective was. I had MY plan and I knew what I wanted to do. I wasn't waiting on God to reveal himself to me because I thought I had everything figured out. So selfish. The funny part about all of that is that the first point of Pastor Steve's sermon was that selfishness destroys relationships and selflessness builds them. I want to be selfless. I want to think of others before myself and I want to look to God to carry out his plan for my life, rather than making self-gratifying, shallow plans for myself.
A lot has changed since that Sunday. I am here, at Fall Creek, loving my job and the people I work with, which is funny because this job was the one thing that didn't make sense to me in my plan. I had a million reasons to turn it down but for some reason I knew that I had to come here. I knew that this was the place for me and if I went anywhere else I would be being disobedient. Now as I look back I can see exactly why God wanted me here and I praise him that he didn't allow me to go anywhere else! And God has blessed me with an awesome roommate and great new friends both inside and outside of church. But other than that, things haven't really turned out the way that I planned. My serious relationship has ended and my family is going through some pretty difficult stuff again. Sometimes I wonder when the insanity will end. I don't know that I will ever see wholeness and restoration brought to my family in this lifetime. I am so proud of my dad. He has come so far in his faith and in his leadership to us. He has had to make some heartbreaking decisions over the last couple of years and he has done so with strength, integrity and kindness. He has shown me what a true man of God looks like. It's funny because some of the normal people that I would usually talk to about this stuff are not a part of my life anymore but God has blessed me beyond what I could ever imagine with supportive people and amazing friends.
At the end of Pastor Steve's sermon outline I read this verse and it just made sense. I am so thankful that God cares enough to speak to me and give me just enough strength to make it through every day. Now I'm here, a preschool teacher and children's ministry director in Fishers, Indiana, waiting in anticipation for God to do something new. I may be waiting a long time but I know that He who has promised is faithful.

"But the Lord says, 'Forget the things that happened in the past. Do not keep on thinking about them. I am about to do something new. It is beginning to happen even now. Don't you see it coming? I am going to make a way for you to go through the desert. I will make streams of water in the dry and empty land'."